R.e.m. King Of Comedy

Make your money with a suit and tie

Make your money with shrewd denial

Make your money expert advice,

If you can wing it

Make your money with a power ply

Make your money with a buyout bribe

You can lie as long as you mean it

I'm not king of comedy,

Grease the pig, give a squeeze (squeeze me)

Make your money with exploitation

Make it holy illumination

Say a prayer at every station

Don't forget to ask for mercy

Make your money with a pretty face

Make it easy with product placement

Make it charged with controversy

I'm straight, I'm queer, I'm bi

I'm not king of comedy,

I'm not your magazine,

I'm not your television

Make your money, make it rich

make it young and make it quick

Make your money on the jukebox, baby,

it's pick up sticks,

Make your enemies make your moves

Make your critics fumble through

Make it smart and make it schmooze

Make it look easy

I'm not king of comedy,

I'm not your magazine,

I'm not your television,

I'm not your movie screen

I'm not commodity (all together now)

I'm not commodity

I'm not commodity